How to improve the groom's wedding speech

The groom's speech is probably the most straight forward of all the wedding speeches.  In fact, many grooms are happy to just rattle off a list of thank you's, say a few nice words about the new wife and sit down. 

But come on, you are the man of the hour.  It doesn't take too much preparation and effort to give a polished speech to be proud of.

Here are some pointers to start you on your way.      

1. GET STARTED EARLY

You are going to be flat out in the week leading up to the wedding.  Organising last minute details and meeting up with friends and family who have flown into the country for the big day.

In other words, you do not want to be writing a speech around this time.  That's why you often see grooms frantically scribbling notes in the minutes leading up the toast.

Whether you want to give a ten minute speech or just say a few words.  Get started early and write it out at couple of weeks ahead.  You will be so glad you did when it comes to the week of the wedding.   

2. DON'T STEAL YOUR BEST MAN'S THUNDER 

Yes, you should aim to get a few laughs in your speech, but don't go overboard and turn your speech into a best man speech.  This isn't time to start telling the audience about all your past exploits with your groomsmen. 

That is the best man's job. 

Just a witty comments or two about each person you thank will hit the mark perfectly.  

3. THESE AREN'T THE ACADEMY AWARDS 

There is nothing worse than listening to the groom thanking every single person who contributed to the wedding.  Especially if presents are given out at the same time.  Your guests will feel as through your speech is dragging on forever. 

A well written groom's speech should just thank the key family members and the wedding party.  Followed by some sincere words about your new wife.  That alone will easily take up 5 minutes.  The perfect length for a groom speech.

For everyone else, there's plenty of time to thank them in person and give out presents after the speeches. 

4. NO HALLMARK QUOTES ABOUT YOUR WIFE

Hopefully you are already aware that the most important person to thank is your new wife! You need to speak honestly and from the heart.  So, please don't turn to the internet for some generic romantic quote.  People will know that you didn't think it up yourself!

If you're struggling to find the right words, then just ask yourself some questions.  What first attracted you to your wife? When did you decide you were going to propose? What is your favourite thing about your new wife?  It really doesn't take long to come up with something good.  

Sum it up in three or four well written sentences and you will definitely hit the the mark.

5. MAKE SURE YOU'RE NOT THANKING THE SAME PEOPLE

There will be a lot of people you want to thank.  However, there is also a very good chance that some of those people will have already been thanked in one of the previous speeches, like the Father of the Bride.  So, co-ordinate in advance with the speech makers exactly who is going to thank whom. 

AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS...

Remember that the Wedding Toaster is always here to help!  Have a look at our speech writing package to help you craft a speech you will be proud to see every time your wife digs out the old wedding DVD! (or MP4, or whatever it is they do nowadays)

My wife's wedding regret

My wife recently told me that her only regret about our wedding day was that she never gave a speech. 

At the time, she figured we didn’t need yet another speech on the evening.  But looking back,  she felt that somehow she was maybe, dare I say it, a little subjugated. Now my wife isn’t an ardent feminist or anything, but she realised there were a lot of men speaking ‘about' her, almost as if she didn’t have a voice of her own.  Between the father of the bride, the three groomsmen (yes - three!), and the groom himself, even I admit that the speeches were rather male-dominated.

Practically speaking too, there were a lot of people at that wedding she wishes she had personally thanked in front of everyone.  From the friends and family who had flown in from overseas to the bridesmaids who had given so much support leading up to the wedding, she wishes she had stood up to tell them how much they meant to her.

“Tradition" dictates that the bride does not give a speech. When the groom gives his speech, he is supposed to speak on her behalf.  But my advice is that every bride should do it.  After all, an audience always wants to hear from the star of the show.

This is your wedding - why organise and fine-tune every aspect of the big day, but opt out of a speaking part and be relegated to an extra? 

But what should the bride say?

I’m not saying that the bride needs to give a full blown 10 minute speech.  There are many opportunities during the reception for the bride to say a few words.  For instance, the groom’s speech already includes a long list of acknowledgements and thank you’s.  These duties could easily be shared between the bride and groom.

My advice to any bride is the same as any other speech.  

• Keep it simple - guests don’t want to listen to a huge list of thank you's
• Co-ordinate your speech with the groom in advance to make sure you’re not just repeating each other
• Don’t worry about getting emotional.  (The crowd usually loves it!)
• Have fun!

How Harry almost ruined the best man speech

When the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge tied the knot, Prince Harry delivered a speech that was “warm and affectionate,” with Harry referring to his brother as “The Dude” and Kate as “The Duchess.”

“Harry said William was the perfect brother,” a source said. “It was exactly how you would expect a best man’s speech to be. He cracked loads of jokes about William. He called him a ‘dude’ several times. He kept coming back to it, saying ‘What a dude.’”

He also noted how love changed the new Duke.

“William didn’t have a romantic bone in his body before he met Kate, so I knew it was serious when William suddenly started cooing down the phone at Kate,” he reportedly said in his speech.

Even though the speech was heartfelt and emotional — causing Kate tear up — Harry couldn’t resist doing a brief impersonation of his brother and Kate’s lovey-dovey conversations. But he did cut out some humor which may have crossed the line.

How it almost went wrong

But it was possibly what Harry didn't say, that made sure the speech was so well remembered.

He had asked his best friends Thomas Van Straubenzee and Guy Pelly to be a sounding board ahead of the speech and is understood to have dropped a reference to ‘Kate’s killer legs’ from the final edit.

‘Harry had some joke in about how he had immediately given Kate the thumbs up when William first brought her home because she had such a great pair of pins, but he didn’t want to embarrass her,’ said a friend.

I'm sure the Duke and Duchess are glad about that!

According to sources inside the evening reception, Harry’s speech was ‘warm and affectionate’ and peppered with good humour and jokes.

Lessons learned

There are two good lessons to be gained from Harry's experience:

1. Get feedback: It's always a good idea to run your jokes by a trusted friend. 

2. Don't mention the bride's anatomy! Enough said.